Make Your Children Feel Like The Most Important People In The World.

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Any parent will tell you that having kids has its ups and downs. It's easy to forget as an adult that when you are that young, a lot of things will happen to you for the first time. And when you've been used to things being one way, that moment of change can knock your world off centre for a while. So because childhood is a time of change, it is also a time of doubt. It's OK to say we learn from our mistakes, but the reason we learn is because those mistakes leave a mark.

Because children have these times, it is important to reassure them of their place in the world. You've never loved anyone or anything more than these little people, and it's bemusing that they'd ever doubt that. In years to come, they won't have any doubt about it. But because we learn from experience, home truths like that one aren't inbuilt. When you don't have much experience to draw on, uncertainty is natural.

Now, don't worry. This may all sound a little bit apocalyptic, but for about 99% of the time your kids will know exactly where they stand with you. They will trust you absolutely even when you don't trust yourself. To them, the very idea that there is any greater authority in the world than you is impossible. And this means that when they have their periods of uncertainty, you can make it all better.

Make Them Feel Important

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The way a child's mind works can be hard to fathom out, even if you live with them every day. To you, there is nothing more important than them and their happiness. But to them, the idea that they are important is a little foreign. To them, being "important" means you go to work, you drive a car, you make things happen. Well, you can't send them out to work, or let them drive, but they can make things happen.

It can be something as simple as asking them for help making the dinner. Keep them away from anything too sharp or too hot, obviously. But they can certainly pour milk in a bowl, stir some batter or scatter some cheese. Having them help in the garden is nice, too. If they plant a seed and see a flower grow in its place, they will feel like they've made a real imprint in the world. What they have done has an end product.

Personalise Their World

Things we take for granted can make children's eyes pop with fascination. You can look in your wallet or purse right now and see bank cards or a driving license that have your name on them. Without getting too philosophical about it, that gives us a sense of identity. Because kids don't have those markers of responsibility, they will sometimes feel less secure.

Something as little as a sign on their bedroom door with their name on it can mean the world to them. But better yet, you can turn their world into something that reflects them. Making a poster to go on their bedroom wall is a good idea. With their name at the top in bright bold letters, add some pictures of things that they love. It’s easy, too - stick them on the paper with sticky glue dots, and involve your kids in making their own posters. This will be at the heart of their world for years to come.

Treat Them For No Special Reason

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There are times in a child's life when they will be given treats as a matter of course. Birthdays, Christmas, any national holiday and more besides. Landmark events come with treats, as is right and proper. But the treats that really mean something are the ones that don't come on special days. Giving your child some ice cream, buying them a toy, or taking them to the zoo just because they are special is a real treat.

No treat is really given for "no reason". And if your kid questions why they're having something special to eat when it isn't their birthday, tell them straight. "I wanted you to have this treat because you're special to me". Of course, little treats like this are not the only way to show your affection for your kids. They won't doubt your love for them because you haven't bought them a treat today. But it's nice to reinforce how much you care.

Just Talk To Them And Listen To Them

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Kids see the world around them through the prism of your experience. Most of what they know at an early age, they know because you have told them. Or they have just heard you say it to someone else. Your opinions are pretty much gospel to them. And sometimes, all it needs to make them feel valued is to talk to you about anything.

It could be their day at school, or what they want to be when they grow up. It could be something they've seen on TV or on the front of the newspaper. (We would all like to shelter our kids from what can be a frightening world, but it can't be done completely and probably shouldn't). They will ask questions, and you should answer them. Ask some of your own. Show them that their opinions matter to you, too.

Your children will have moments of doubt in their lives; we all do. But this should not be something that you worry about for too long. Those moments of doubt that they do have will be fleeting. Your love and reassurance will see to that.

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The little things that you do to underline your child's importance to you will teach them a lot. It will teach them that they matter not only to you, but to the world. Children pick up a lot, and the messages that you give them will stay with them. When they see the difference that they make just by existing, they will be left in no doubt that they have a special place in the world.