LEAVING PARENTS EVENING DISHEARTENED...

On Wednesday I had parents evening at Joshua's school to discuss his progress and how he is getting on in school. I was actually looking forward to talking with the teacher about him and was really interested in what she had to say about him. Me and his dad went together and were seen as soon as we walked through the door as she was ahead of schedule. 

We sat down and she explained how she had wrote down notes to help her remember what to say. She started by telling us how she feels Josh is enjoying school more (we had a few issues before where he was scared of coming to school) and told me he still plays with the same children and named a few of the boys which surprised me as Josh told me he doesn't play with them anymore and was quite confident about that. She then spoke about his books and how is he coming along and this is where I sat with complete disappointment. She told me how he has been having extra help every day with his english and maths as he was falling behind the average of his age group.  She said they alternate each day with maths and english. 

She told me he finds it hard to recognise his sounds, yet he shows me every single one when I go through them with him. She said he also struggles with his numbers and counting, yet when I do it with him he may get the odd number wrong as he says them too fast but I never really noticed an issue before and I know he is very capable. What got to me the most was when she said 'I don't think he will reach the average a child of his age should be at by the end of the year' That honestly made my heart sink. Is this my fault? I felt like maybe my parenting skills aren't up to scratch and should I be sat practising his learning with him every single day? Instead of sat doing role play activities and games with him. Should I be putting more pressure on him to work harder and concentrate more? His dad asked if it was down to concentration rather than his ability and she said she didn't think so. She said maybe at the start she could blame concentration as the children aren't used to the environment and routine of school life but they have had a few months now and have settled down.

She gave me games to play with him to encourage his learning without him realising he's doing it. To ask him questions like 'If me and you had to eat at the table how many plates would we need?' I thought this was pretty simple so does that mean he is really struggling? Is he really not learning at the same pace as some of the others? I mean I know all children are different and all learn at difference paces but is it something I should be worrying about with him being only four years of age? He is one of the youngest in his class and to me he is such a bright boy. 

Josh if mummy and Joshua were eating at the table how many plates would we need?

'two mum' 

'So if me, you and Freddie were eating at the table how many plates would we need?'

'two mum, Freddie doesn't use a plate silly' 

He really makes me laugh and I left the school really worrying and panicking that he wasn't clever enough and was really struggling with easy tasks. Yet here I was watching this bright and funny little boy and yes they spend all day every day with him but do they really know him as well as I do? Yes they may understand more about his ability with different subjects but I know my son, and he is a clever little boy. He is bright he takes absolutely everything in, his memory is incredible for his age. She also said to me that he really tries to please her by giving her an answer and really tries to give the right answer but really struggles. It got me thinking, he does love to please people. He absolutely loves being praised so is he just trying to think really quickly because he doesn't want to disappoint.  Is there too much pressure on them? They are still so little are they expecting too much? I think so. He learns a lot through play and playing with his friends and thats all I am concerned about. 

I went home to my mum after parents evening and I was so upset. I told her we really need to crack down on his playing with his toys and encourage him to learn more. I was telling her how I would sit at the table with him every single day and practise our writing and numbers, but do I really need to every single day? No. Like I said at first I thought it was obviously my fault and I was failing but after sitting with him when I got home I knew I had done nothing wrong and he was perfect. He really is so kind and loving and that matters so much more than anything. I refuse to pressure him into learning at a faster pace and as long as he is happy then so am i. He comes home and he is so proud of all the new things he can do and nothing makes me prouder. 

I know there are quite a few parents who really quite strict on their children at this age and want them to be the best at everything but for me, that really just ruins their childhood. Let them be kids, encourage their learning but why pressure them when they will have enough of that while they are growing up! Just let them have fun and the learning will just follow...

Being the best at everything doesn't necessarily mean you are better.

This is nothing against Joshs teacher as I think she is a brilliant teacher! :) 

LIVING ARROWS - 6/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” 

This photo was taken literally about five minutes ago! Josh was so excited about his homework he had to go on his home. He is learning in school about different types of houses and when we drive past places he will shout out 'Look mummy it is a semi detached house' and he is so proud of himself.

He even tried his very hardest to write his name on the house which is a big deal for him as he is slightly behind but watching how hard he tried made me so proud of him.

Last night I went out for a meal with some of my family for my great aunties 70th birthday and it was really loved to see everybody as we don't often get to spend much time together. I see my nan and grandad every week and I love this photo I snapped quickly, look at the way they are looking at him you can feel the love by just looking at the photo! Although Freddie looks massive I can't believe how much he is growing! Its crazy. We left Josh at home with my mum (who is poorly so couldn't go either) as he was far too tired to drag out! 

What have you done this week? 

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED SINCE BECOMING A MUM OF BOYS

I love having my boys I honestly can't imagine having a girl but what have I learned since being a mum of boys?

You will have countless phone calls from their school where they have fallen over and bumped their head. 

- hes fine he was just running a little too fast so has a lovely lump attached to his head

Your bathroom floor will always be covered in pee (gross!) as will your toilet seat and anything in close range to the toilet. 

- Seriously boys pee closer to the toilet and look where you are pointing! Do they do handstands while closing their eyes when they have a wee?

You will get shot with a nerf gun at least 15 times a day

- Or maybe more, top tip don't buy one for your boyfriend as its double the pain and they are more child like than your children! 

Boys are really loving and are a lot more cuddly than girls!

- The saying mummy's boy isn't made up you know! They are the most loving, protective, cute and adorable little boys! I have never had so many cuddles and kisses before and I can't wait for it to continue. 

Expect loads of jokes about farting and poo!

- Mum you're a poo poo head, while squating down and doing loud fart noises boys are truly disgusting.

They never stop moving, seriously they are always on the go

- Mum watch me do a cart wheel over my bed and climb any wall that I ever did see, it is so much fun!

They come home covered in mud on a regular basis and your washing machine is always on the go

- Josh did you take a bath in the mud in school? No we were just seeing who could sink faster in the mud mum. Take your clothes off then Josh and put them in the machine for the fifth time…

They do not stop touching their male parts!! Even as babies as soon as they find it god help you! 

- Get your hand off your willy! Look what I can do mum its a gun *while pulling it in to all sorts of positions* GROSS you know it will fall off if you carry on!

Anything and everything can be and will be used as a gun 

- That innocent tub of pringles left on the side? It is now a gun and being shot at you from the other side of the kitchen. That goes for sticks, wrapping paper tubes, lego, their fingers the list is endless.

They have no fear and will give you a heart attack on numerous occasions 

- You need eyes in the back of your head, see that massive tree in the distance? They will climb up it without thinking twice. They will dive and roll off everything and anything and get in to so much mischief. 

You will turn into hulk hogan in 0.5 seconds

- Get practising your wrestling and fighting skills as you will need to be on top form. They can come at you at any time with a slam dunk to the floor and an elbow in the eye.

You will know every name of every super hero that ever existed

- Captain america, Hulk, Batman, Spider man, Thor, Superman, Superwoman, Iron man, Wolverine, Ninja turtles, Green arrow, Hawk eye, Cat women ok ok so the list really is massive but you want to know the rest? No problem just ask them! 

You say things you never thought you'd ever say 

-  'get captain america out of your pants'

'get that arrow out of your pants too' 

'don't pee on your brother'

'why are your pants on your head?'

'no mummy doesn't have a todger'

'get your foot out of your mouth'

'don't lick the TV screen'

'No you can't shoot the dog with a nerf gun'

'NO you must never ask someone why they are so small'

'Why are there cookies in my bath?'

Stepping on lego is the worst pain in the world

- When you have boys and they cover your house in lego, BEWARE of standing on it the pain is close to childbirth!!!

Always be cautious when changing a nappy 

- They will sprinkle you (or even themselves in the eye!) with wee. Honestly as soon as you take the dreaded nappy off it must send a message to their brain 'Pee all over mummy' The little thing shoots upwards and gets you right in the face, or if you are lucky they shoot themselves in the eye (yes this actually happens!)

They are very proud of their farts

-  'MUM did you hear that WOW' and even their poo's 'WOW MUM ITS SO BIG COME LOOK QUICK'

Mud and dirt can be so much fun 

- Invest in a pair of wellies you will need them! I have heard of mud baths being relaxing and good for your skin, but my boys think a mud bath is completely different! Aim shoot fire and I will be covered in mud from head to toe and look like I've been rolling around in it (ok maybe I have, my boys are having fun in the mud so I have an excuse!)   

They can be as hard as nails but as soft as butter

Your house will never be tidy again

They just don't listen

-  I can say JOSH come and sit down and eat your breakfast six times before he pipes up with 'sorry what did you say?' 'Honestly mum I never heard you shout 600 times I promise.

They won't care where you are if they need to pee they will pee 

- Pulling over on the side of the road just to let your son have a wee in the bushes will become a regular thing when you go for a drive somewhere.

Boys really are amazing and mine make me so ridiculously happy. People always say to me when are you going to try for a girl? I just love my boy life far too much and the cuddles and love they both give me is so amazing that I really couldn't ask for anything else. 

Mummy's boys really do exist and they are amazing.

LIVING ARROWS - OUR WEEK 2/52

I have decided to take part in the 'Living arrows' linky over on Donna's blog.

This is how she explains what living arrows is;

"Living Arrows is about celebrating childhood. The project originally took it’s name from a poem by Kahlil Gibran, “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” and every Monday we share a moment from our week and invite others to do the same as part of this linky".

I decided to take part as I love looking back at photo's of the boys and to see what we got up to. Childhood is such a special time and I can't wait to share our photos with you and have memories to look back on in years to come. 

The last week has been spent catching up with friends after the christmas break and the boys love re uniting with their best friends just look at the smiles on their faces. They have such a special bond already that I can't wait to see how close they will be when they reach 18!

I have made such a lovely group of friends which means the boys have also made such special friendships. 

This photo of the boys I will always love and I really hope as they will always have each other their childhood will be an amazing one. The fun and memories these boys are going to make this next year will be incredible and I can't wait to start the journey!

Join in and share your photo's from the week it will be lovely to look back on.

WHAT THEY WORE WEDNESDAY

jI love dressing the boys as you know so thought I would try and do a weekly post on their outfits! As Josh is in school all week he barely gets to wear clothes that I buy him which I hate! He doesn't like to pose for me any more either and his smile always cracks me up! Poor Freddie has to have a million photo's taken a day as he is so sick he has loads of outfit changes.

Denim jacket - Zara

White long sleeved top - Next

Trousers - Zara 

Top - Jellyfish kids

Leggings - Zara

I love zaras clothing selection and most of their wardrobe is from there. I would say its quite reasonably priced but if you like something from there I would suggest buying it as they sell out quickly and have regular new stock which means things come and go quickly. 

I love Serah's range of clothing from Jellyfish kids they both have so much from there! They wash so well and match up with so many different outfits! I love matching them like these 'Brother goals' tops, I mean how cute are they it really sums up the little bond both my babies have;

What have your little ones wore today?

xoxo

WHY DOES IT MATTER THAT I LOOK YOUNG AND HAVE KIDS?

Every single time I leave the house with Freddie I could tell you the conversation I will have with somebody that day. 

Aw look at him he's lovely how old? 

7 months

Is he your first? 

No I have a four year old son 

No way how old are you, you look far too young! 

I am 25. 

Are you still with the dad?

Yes…. 

Oh that's good, do they have the same dad?

No they don't

I know I look young, I could get away with a child's ticket on the bus and still get Id'd for a scratch card in any supermarket. I just don't understand why people feel the need to point that out to me. What does how I look like or how old I am for that matter have to do with my ability to be a parent? What if I was 16 with two children what would your reaction of been then? There are mums out there who are 16/17 and they are just as good at being a mother as someone who is a lot older. Would you watch a young mum walk in the supermarket and think blimey she looks quite young I know let's go and ask her how old she is, and then proceed to tell her she looks about 16. Yeah, I here that a lot. 'I bet you do'

Now on to the dad questions. Firstly why would you even ask someone if they are still with the father isn't that a little personal? I may be a kick ass brilliant single mother why the need to judge on the fact that just because I look young me and the dad most probably aren't together anymore. Lastly,  do they have the same dad?! Is that a genuine question you have just asked me! Why will this information be important to your life, do you really need to know so much about someone you have only just met? What I am trying to get at is if you don't know somebody the questions that you ask them can be very judgmental and quite hurtful. Do I look like the type of mother who has two children by two different dad's who is probably a single parent and far too young to be a good one at that. That is how I feel when I get asked these questions. What happened to your typical how old is he? He is beautiful, a quick smile and chat about what a lovely baby he is and then leave to carry on with your day.

I would honestly never dream of asking these type of questions to anybody, but maybe that is because I am so sick of hearing them myself that I wouldn't want someone else to feel the same way. I know most comments are probably harmless but honestly when you have the same conversation ten times a davit gets draining. 

I remember one time when I was on the bus with Josh and he was having a bit of a meltdown as he wanted to sit in the front seats (as we always did) but somebody else was sitting there. The stares I got from people on the bus was so off putting. I sat with him and tried to calm him down by getting him to sing songs and cuddled him to comfort him. Each direction I looked I could see peoples eyes burning through my skin. I could tell they were all thinking the same thing about young parents and how they shouldn't have babies when they are a 'baby' themselves. It was hard work trying to calm him down with everyones preying eyes and tutting/head shaking until a elderly lady came up to me and said 'It's ok love, I had to come over to tell you what a great job you are doing and what a brilliant mother you are you can tell he adores you' I honestly cried it was such a relief to hear somebody praise me instead of feeling the judgmental words and stares like usual. She made my day so much better and I left the bus with a happy child and an even happier mother. Kind words honestly mean so much and I really do think praising somebody when you can see they are struggling will mean so much to that person and make them believe in themselves again

Moral of the story, if somebody looks young and they have children with them and you feel the need to talk to them, just tell them how cute they are don't go asking personal questions as they do effect people even if you may not think that they do!

xoxo